Today's Special? Fashion: Guys' Edition!

I am sick and tired of thinking some guy is boyfriend potential, and then realizing their clothing is asbolutely ridiculous. On to the next one! If your girlfriend is a fashionista, like moi for example, you'll have to realize that clothing is something she will notice. In fact, it's probably the first thing she notices, even if you do have a beautiful smile and look slightly like David Beckham. It's not that the girl is high-maintenance, despite what you guys might think, it's simply that she wants to be proud of her man, and part of being proud is being able to have him by her side - and if she isn't going to buy that furry purse at the mall, then why would she want you? If a guy cannot dress nicely, it gives one of two (or... two of two) first impressions that you don't really want to have: 1) In a world where image is everything, you don't care about your image. If you don't care about your image, then you don't care about much else in life. Enough said. 2) You are unhygenic. Gross. Ew. Get those bugs out of your hair and shower.  Here are some basic steps to follow if you're looking to get looked at, and maybe, just maybe, score a second date sometime.

1) Don't dress like a hobo. What is attractive about a hobo? NOTHING. Don't wear baggy, dirty sweats with an XXL t-shirt, covered in your lunch. That is DIS-GUS-TING. Disguting. What girl wants to go out with that? Um, not me, my friend. Oh, you don't like shopping, and so you wear the same clothes over and over again? Get over it. Ew.

2) Light jeans? No way, José! I am definietly not one of the few who prefers DARK jeans on her guy. The reasoning? In my opinion, light jeans on anyone do not look flattering. Light clothes, especially panst,  have the potential to make you look bigger than you are, and they also have the ability to look old - think faded. Dark jeans always are classy for any sort of occasion, especially when paired with a nice shoe. They also make you look younger and slimmer. Hurray!

3) SHOES. Shoes. Shoes are very important to a girl, hence why we girls have so many of our own! It's important to have a few types of shoes for various occasions, and outfits! While I really prefer dark shoes on a guy (can't see stains, classier) make sure it's a shoe that can go with a number of different pants, but especially jeans. Get a shoe yu find comfortable for everyday, and then a lace-up dress shoe for more important occasions! And if you want a THIRD pair, I reallly recommend a nice brown dress shoe to go with your nice dark jeans! Perfecto!

4) Shirts. T-shirts. Collared shirts. Black shirts. White shirts. There are a lot of shirts. Basically, the rule of thumb is to always wear something you feel comfortable in, and think you look good in. However, just make sure the shirt firts you properly! There is nothing worse than a guy who is uncomfortable (and odd-looking) because his shirt is too tight, and a guy in a shirt that's too big makes him look big! Even if he's very well-defined ;) Have a few casual shirts, and I recommend a nice white t-shirt, as well as a black one, for casual nights out. Nothing looks better than a white shirt. For dress shirts, again it's important to have a proper fit, in black and white, and maybe a few more colours. JUST MAKE SURE THEY FIT!

5) A blazer jacket. Why do you need a blazer jacket? Google David Beckham and then click on "images" - THAT'S WHY!!! In fact, here's a link: CLICK HERE. Although Becks is mainly topless in these pics (hey, I'm not complaining!) for those in which he's not, please note he's wearing a blazer. And every woman knows this man is HOT.

6) MAN-jewerly. You know, I really believe this is  NO-NO. Besides from a watch (and a ring, beloging on your wedding finger) I realy think man-jewerly is a bit passé. Very '90s. Last time I checked, the Backstreet Boys grew up.

As far as fashion goes, I think this is about it! Buy some nice sweaters to go with your collared shirts that ARE NOT hoodies, and you're good to go! I like hoodies on guys, but they're Besides that, here is the biggest, BIGGEST, most important, most CRUCIAL (am I getting my point accross?) aspect in any guy: HYGEINE!!!!!!!!! Guys, take a shower! Cut your hair! Wash your face! Shave from time to time! Don't bite your nails and MAKE SURE your hands and nails ARE CLEAN. Do you think I want a guy touching me if he has crap all over his hands, with tons of germs and boogers and all that other fun stuff? I THINK NOT. Wash up regularly, put on deoderant, and BRUSH YOUR TEETH.

But last but not least, what looks REALLY good on a guy? A great personality! Be a nice guy, with a sense of humour, who shows he is happy to be with his girl. Oh and a nice smile. As Annie says (yes, yes, I'm quoting Broadway musicals): You're never fully dressed without a smile! :)
The End!

Faux fur is definitely NOT a faux pas!

Hello fashionistas!

While the air is getting chillier by the minute, and snow is falling around us, and going outside is getting less and less bearable, I'd just like to remind all you fellow fashionistas out there that this winter, faux fur is definitely NOT a faux pas!

Now, I know not everyone will agree with me when I say I absolutely HATE the look and feel of fur - faux or pas - and many people consider it a staple "ingredient" when looking for that cozy, warm winter jacket, but people, let's remind ourselves where this fur comes from, shall we? Animals. Yes, think of your cute little puppy or kitty, and then think of them skinned and without any fur. Not a nice thought, is it?

Okay, okay, I get it that we're not skinning cats and dogs here, but please keep in mind when shopping for your winter jackets this season that, unfortunately, a lot of companies do not adhere to proper standards of animal treatment, especially ones that incorporate fur. For those of you who'd like to argue that real fur keeps your warmer, to this I'd like to respond: think again, amigos. Nowadays, it's not as important to have vrai fur when the technologies our society has can create a faux version which not only looks the same, but offers the same amount of warmth. Also, they're usually not even as expensive as the real thing! Companies will, nevertheless, continue to market that fur keeps you warm, but ummm, yeah, so does the fake version. And let's face it, unless you're living in the north pole or antarctica, or travel by dogsled and live in an igloo, there will never be a place you will go where you will need that extra warmth - you'll hop in your car, and drive to wherever you have to go.

My huge issue lies with the Canadian company Canada Goose which is known for their ultra-warm down-filled jackets with coyote fur-lined hoods. .REAL coyote fur. And, JUST the hoods are lined with coyote fur! Tell me how this is helpful. While I like that Canada Goose does not use down from live-plucking, I don't like how they actually KILL the coyote for their fur. They go out and hunt them, or have coyote farms. And with a huge company like this, it's not just one or two coyotes - NOPE! It's thousands every year. While they say they maintain "ethical" standards for de-furring these poor little wild dogs, let's think again about how ethical it reall is to take a life from an otherwise free-roaming animal and KILLING it so some little rich kid can get his or her jacket. To match with their Ugg boots. When they're going to be driving around in the winter anyway. Before buying your jacket this winter, I recommend you take a look at Canada Goose's policies, and read for yourself what is going into their products using this handy-dandy website: http://www.canada-goose.com/faq/

So, Hollista, what are some other options, you ask? Well, I recently saw this little number from TNA (Aritzia): http://aritzia.com/fashion/outerwear/classic-knee-length-hooded-parka
 I like the fact that it's still down-filled (so, super warm) but it advertises the fact that the fur is FAUX! What I also think is great about this jacket is that it's brand-named, much like Canada Goose, but the wearer can be guilt-free! Woohoo!

There are also number of different stores which carry warm winter gear without the guilt of killing animals in order to do so. Just ask around, or do a quick Google search before going out to make your purchase this winter. Please remember that many large companies could not care less about the ethical treatment of animals, whether they claim to or not - or as Canada Goose does, say they're a Canadian company so OF COURSE they must care about the treatment of animals.

So what's the message we're taking away from this post, animal-loving, caring, fashionistas? FAUX FUR IS NOT A FAUX PAS! I can assure you Santa does not have a polar bear-trimmed getup.

Is...she...serious right now?

Fashionistas, how many times have you caught yourself thinking just that (Is she SERIOUS?) when out shopping, with friends, or...anywhere really? I know I certainly catch myself questioning one's mental capacities at least once every time I leave my house. But SERIOUSLY, how to people leave their respective houses wearing some of the things they are wearing? Surely they cannot believe themselves to be fashionable!?! The worst part is when you know that, deep down inside, this person sporting some of the worst fashion EVER really does SERIOUSLY BELIEVE she is fashionable. My friends, these people are nuts.

Here are a few examples of TERRIBLE (and I repeat (with emphasis): TERRRRRIBLE) outfits I have spotted around Toronto recently, that not only have me stop dead mid-sentence and get this look on my face that means only one thing: is...she...serious right now? Is that outfit REALLY happening?

Let's consider this picture, shall we? I hope everyone was able to spot the fahsion crime immediately. WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE WEARING ON THEIR FEET? Tie-on covers to cover their shoes or something? Are they supposed to make it look like they're wearing boots? You know what this reminds me of? You know those blankets that horses wear that are sort of tied on so they keep warm? Yeah, it reminds me of those. Look, even the horse is wearing them! Certainly these leg-warmer-horse-warmer things are not warm in the slightest, which just confuses me even further... seriously, where do people come up with this?

Now, let's take a look at one outfit I spotted yesterday, while shopping in one of Toronto's trendiest outdoor shopping complexes. No doubt this lady thought she was HOT in her ankle-length red-pleather wedged heel booties. I could barely stifle my laughter. This lady definitely was serious. WHAT in your right mind, lady, would possess you to wear this? The fact that they're ankle-high booties make your calfs look short and stumpy, and well... not so toned. The beige wedge and the red pleather are a terrible combination, and anyone willing to market these must be on crack.

I must admit I enjoy my "Is She Seriously?" moments because they provide me with a smile and a little laugh, and make my excursions just THAT much more interesting... but wouldn't you rather have someone enjoy your outfit instead of contemplating your level of brain ability? I would think so. Remember: mirrors are your friends. Just because you don't see someone else wearing it does not mean you're making a fashion statement with your outfit - you're actually making many people laugh. Congrats!

Jeggings

Dear Fashionistas,

It's been a while since we wrote about something that we see in everyday life (actually, it's been a long time since we wrote in general!) and I think it's about time we go back to discussing bad fashion that we see everyday, as opposed to the runway. Today's victim? JEGGINGS.

Jeggings are a cross between leggings and jeans, and are, in my opinion, one of the WORST THINGS YOU COULD EVER WEAR. Like, why would you want to look like you're wearing jeans if you're not? Is it so you can fit your fat ass into "jeans" since you otherwise would not be able to wear jeans that tight? I don't know WHY someone would want to wear these, but a piece of advice? DON'T!

Remember our anti-legging  campaign a few weeks ago? Yeah, just because jeggings look like jeans does not rule them out against everything bad we said about leggings - you can still see your cellulite through them, your ass still will look jiggly, and, ummm they're still veeerrrryyyy ugly! The worst part about jeggings is that people ACTUALLY wear these things like normal pants! Shirts tucked in an all!!! Or with tiny little t-shirts! WHY WHY WHY??? Or with heels! EWWW Like, why would you want to expose just how bad your legs are to begin with? Just because they are in a jean print DOES NOT make them any better, ESPECIALLY if they are in an acid wash. BLAH. Take the jeggings on the right, for example. Now, tell me, intelligent people, what is SO GREAT about these? Answer: ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. This poor girl's ass looks nothing but UNattractive, looks like she has a MAJOR wedgie, and um, her legs look short and bulky due to the colour and tightness. Also, those heels should never-ever be worn with jeggings, especially in that colour - the contrast between black and... grey (what the hell colour is that anyway?) places attention on your ankles, and because the pants cut you off at the ankles, you will look SHORTER. Also, heels tend to create more muscular-looking thighs, making you look bulky in something that is as skin-tight as jeggings. Yeah, so, um, just don't do it ok, peeps? Also, they look SO CHEAP and TACKY - why do you need to PRINT on your pockets? Exactly.

Ladies, stick to skinny jeans. If you can't fit into skinny jeans... well then, you are much to big to fit into them in the first place, and you should do something about that. And by that, I mean WORK OUT and not revert to ridiculous JEGGINGS in order to make yourself feel good - because I can assure you, you definitely do not look good.

What IS it with Pocahontas all of a sudden? It seems like she is invading fashion (badly, I may add) like it's nobody's business, first with those terrible headbands, and now with something else that I believe I hate even more than headbands, and actually named after our (least)favourite nature whisperer - the Pocahontas Sandal ( and yes, that's the name for them... can you believe it?)

LOOK AT HOW UGLY THESE THINGS ARE!!!! I am SO confused as to why anyone would want to wear these... bizarre...creations.What's the point of wearing a shoe around your ankle and then having it open like a sandal? I don't know, I just don't get it. And like, why make them all Pocahontas-like, with those frills and stuff?? NO IDEA. There is nothing even aesthetically pleasing about frills - like, what? Did the designer have nothing better to do, and was so LAME tha the best he cold do was cut strips of fabric up? APPARENTLY SO! Besides being the ugliest creations I have EVER seen to be worn on feet (Crocs come in a close second). EVER EVR EVER.

And like, besides being completely ugly, and unfashionable, they are also highly unrealistic! Take a look at the shoes on the right, and consider just how STUPID they would make someone look. Think about it - what would you possibly wear it with anyway? If you wore pants, they'd cover up the bee-uuu-ti-full fringe (*cough* sarcasm *cough*) and make your pants bunchy, but if you wear capris - well, they woudln't really be capris anymore with these shoes going up as high as they do. Wearing them with a skirt or dress causes a few more problems: 1) WHY the HELL would you wear these with a shirt in the first place? Unless you're wearing this you'll just look D-U-M-B, and 2) shoes that hug your ankle (heels with straps, for example) tend to make you look short and like you have cankles no matter how tiny and tall you actually are - the way the human eye perceives things just makes you look shorter when your ankles are cut off.

The way my eye perceives these shoes has me grabbing for the closest sharp object to poke my eyes out and thus be rid of this horrible sight forever.

Hey slut!

What is it with people dressing like complete sluts? I really love summer, and I really love summer clothes - so much that I dream about summer clothes even when it's -40 outside - but seriously, since when did summer become synonymous to slut season? Just because summer weather allows you to go outside wearing less clothing does not mean that you should just forget your clothes all together, which is what seems to be happening!

Let me tell you about an outfit I saw today - barely-there black cotton booty shorts (and yes, you could see her thong - it was blue), STILETTOS, a red stretchy v-neck tank that exposed her dangle butterfly belly-button ring, and oh yeah, her hot pink bra. First of all DON'T WEAR RED AND PINK! JUST DON'T DO IT! And certainly don't do it if you're going to be layering the two!! ew!!! What was she thinking?? And really, does anyone need to see how far your thong is riding up your ass? I think not! WHY WHY WHY was this girl dressing like SUCH a slut? How in the world can this girl really think she's attractive, as opposed to the object of criticism (and laughter)?

Girls, just because the warmer weather permits you to wear a cute miniskirt and opposed to a snow suit doesn't mean you have to forget how to put on clothes that 1) fit 2) match 3) are classy, and lastly 4) don't forget to actually put clothes on! Like seriously, do you think you look hot dressing like a skankaroo? Do you LIKE the attention you get when people mistake you for a hooker (and let's face it, in Toronto this is quite possible)? It's one thing to go to a pool or a beach and prance around in minimal clothing - but walking down the street you just look like a ghetto slut? You deserve to be asked how much you cost.

Please please puh-lease (I'm begging you here) - if you insist on wearing short shorts, put on a longer shirt - one that does not look like it was made for a 5-year-old. Also, stilettos, especially those that are metallic, shiny, and full of bling ALWAYS make you look like ghetto trash. Always. No exceptions.

So, remember - just because it's summer DOES NOT mean you should strip down the the bare essentials and take off all your clothes, let alone forget to put clothes on! Less is not always more! You'll look like a ghetto slut - THIS IS NOT A GOOD THING!!!

Romp romp romp romp... fromp.

I really love summer fashion. I love how it is totally possible to put on a pair of cute shorts, a top, and look totally acceptable even with just a pair of flip-flops. Summer is a time when people can express their unique fashion sense without being loaded down by 10 hundred sweaters, and there are so, so, so many cute outfits to make and chose from!

Unfortunately, with brightly-coloured sundresses and daisy dukes comes one fashion trend I CANNOT STAND and I really think NOBODY should even ATTEMPT to wear: ROMPERS. Why the hell would somebody want to wear something that was originally intended for 5-year olds? Are you so intellectually incompetent that you have to wear your shorts and tops sewn together? Perhaps this is for those people who have a tendency to take off their clothes while having a few too many summery drinks, and need more reinforcement. Regardless, DO NOT WEAR A ROMPER!!!!!

When I think of a romper on a grown person aka an adult, the images that immediately comes to mind are 1) a blond white-trash crack whore with a cigarette and a drink in her hand, and too skinny to fit into anything else, and 2) an over-weight skankapotomous who wants to hide a few rolls. Are you any of those two things? Geezus, I seriously hope not!

I think my main issue with rompers is that, well, I have yet to see anyone who can really pull it off. Sure, terrycloth ones can be useful après-swim (but, like, keep in mind you're literally wearing a towel in this case) but just further emphasizes the fact that they should NOT be worn on the street. Oh hey, you look like you just came from the beach... but you live in downtown Toronto! No beaches there, my friends. If you're not anno-thin, rompers have a tendency to make you look like you have a post-baby belly due to the fact that many of them attempt to have a higher waist-line. Not only that, but your ass looks like it's falling out, and um, hello camel-toe! Ew. Like, who does this girl in the blue think she is?   STOP IT NOW!!!!!

Unless you're a 5-year old child, please don't wear one of these hideous outfits. You look reeeeealllly bad, no matter how skinny, how tanned, how accessorized you may be, or how awesome your shoes are. Do you really want to look like white trash, or a toddler? *shudders* I seriously hope not.