What IS it with Pocahontas all of a sudden? It seems like she is invading fashion (badly, I may add) like it's nobody's business, first with those terrible headbands, and now with something else that I believe I hate even more than headbands, and actually named after our (least)favourite nature whisperer - the Pocahontas Sandal ( and yes, that's the name for them... can you believe it?)

LOOK AT HOW UGLY THESE THINGS ARE!!!! I am SO confused as to why anyone would want to wear these... bizarre...creations.What's the point of wearing a shoe around your ankle and then having it open like a sandal? I don't know, I just don't get it. And like, why make them all Pocahontas-like, with those frills and stuff?? NO IDEA. There is nothing even aesthetically pleasing about frills - like, what? Did the designer have nothing better to do, and was so LAME tha the best he cold do was cut strips of fabric up? APPARENTLY SO! Besides being the ugliest creations I have EVER seen to be worn on feet (Crocs come in a close second). EVER EVR EVER.

And like, besides being completely ugly, and unfashionable, they are also highly unrealistic! Take a look at the shoes on the right, and consider just how STUPID they would make someone look. Think about it - what would you possibly wear it with anyway? If you wore pants, they'd cover up the bee-uuu-ti-full fringe (*cough* sarcasm *cough*) and make your pants bunchy, but if you wear capris - well, they woudln't really be capris anymore with these shoes going up as high as they do. Wearing them with a skirt or dress causes a few more problems: 1) WHY the HELL would you wear these with a shirt in the first place? Unless you're wearing this you'll just look D-U-M-B, and 2) shoes that hug your ankle (heels with straps, for example) tend to make you look short and like you have cankles no matter how tiny and tall you actually are - the way the human eye perceives things just makes you look shorter when your ankles are cut off.

The way my eye perceives these shoes has me grabbing for the closest sharp object to poke my eyes out and thus be rid of this horrible sight forever.

Hey slut!

What is it with people dressing like complete sluts? I really love summer, and I really love summer clothes - so much that I dream about summer clothes even when it's -40 outside - but seriously, since when did summer become synonymous to slut season? Just because summer weather allows you to go outside wearing less clothing does not mean that you should just forget your clothes all together, which is what seems to be happening!

Let me tell you about an outfit I saw today - barely-there black cotton booty shorts (and yes, you could see her thong - it was blue), STILETTOS, a red stretchy v-neck tank that exposed her dangle butterfly belly-button ring, and oh yeah, her hot pink bra. First of all DON'T WEAR RED AND PINK! JUST DON'T DO IT! And certainly don't do it if you're going to be layering the two!! ew!!! What was she thinking?? And really, does anyone need to see how far your thong is riding up your ass? I think not! WHY WHY WHY was this girl dressing like SUCH a slut? How in the world can this girl really think she's attractive, as opposed to the object of criticism (and laughter)?

Girls, just because the warmer weather permits you to wear a cute miniskirt and opposed to a snow suit doesn't mean you have to forget how to put on clothes that 1) fit 2) match 3) are classy, and lastly 4) don't forget to actually put clothes on! Like seriously, do you think you look hot dressing like a skankaroo? Do you LIKE the attention you get when people mistake you for a hooker (and let's face it, in Toronto this is quite possible)? It's one thing to go to a pool or a beach and prance around in minimal clothing - but walking down the street you just look like a ghetto slut? You deserve to be asked how much you cost.

Please please puh-lease (I'm begging you here) - if you insist on wearing short shorts, put on a longer shirt - one that does not look like it was made for a 5-year-old. Also, stilettos, especially those that are metallic, shiny, and full of bling ALWAYS make you look like ghetto trash. Always. No exceptions.

So, remember - just because it's summer DOES NOT mean you should strip down the the bare essentials and take off all your clothes, let alone forget to put clothes on! Less is not always more! You'll look like a ghetto slut - THIS IS NOT A GOOD THING!!!