What IS it with Pocahontas all of a sudden? It seems like she is invading fashion (badly, I may add) like it's nobody's business, first with those terrible headbands, and now with something else that I believe I hate even more than headbands, and actually named after our (least)favourite nature whisperer - the Pocahontas Sandal ( and yes, that's the name for them... can you believe it?)

LOOK AT HOW UGLY THESE THINGS ARE!!!! I am SO confused as to why anyone would want to wear these... bizarre...creations.What's the point of wearing a shoe around your ankle and then having it open like a sandal? I don't know, I just don't get it. And like, why make them all Pocahontas-like, with those frills and stuff?? NO IDEA. There is nothing even aesthetically pleasing about frills - like, what? Did the designer have nothing better to do, and was so LAME tha the best he cold do was cut strips of fabric up? APPARENTLY SO! Besides being the ugliest creations I have EVER seen to be worn on feet (Crocs come in a close second). EVER EVR EVER.

And like, besides being completely ugly, and unfashionable, they are also highly unrealistic! Take a look at the shoes on the right, and consider just how STUPID they would make someone look. Think about it - what would you possibly wear it with anyway? If you wore pants, they'd cover up the bee-uuu-ti-full fringe (*cough* sarcasm *cough*) and make your pants bunchy, but if you wear capris - well, they woudln't really be capris anymore with these shoes going up as high as they do. Wearing them with a skirt or dress causes a few more problems: 1) WHY the HELL would you wear these with a shirt in the first place? Unless you're wearing this you'll just look D-U-M-B, and 2) shoes that hug your ankle (heels with straps, for example) tend to make you look short and like you have cankles no matter how tiny and tall you actually are - the way the human eye perceives things just makes you look shorter when your ankles are cut off.

The way my eye perceives these shoes has me grabbing for the closest sharp object to poke my eyes out and thus be rid of this horrible sight forever.

Hey slut!

What is it with people dressing like complete sluts? I really love summer, and I really love summer clothes - so much that I dream about summer clothes even when it's -40 outside - but seriously, since when did summer become synonymous to slut season? Just because summer weather allows you to go outside wearing less clothing does not mean that you should just forget your clothes all together, which is what seems to be happening!

Let me tell you about an outfit I saw today - barely-there black cotton booty shorts (and yes, you could see her thong - it was blue), STILETTOS, a red stretchy v-neck tank that exposed her dangle butterfly belly-button ring, and oh yeah, her hot pink bra. First of all DON'T WEAR RED AND PINK! JUST DON'T DO IT! And certainly don't do it if you're going to be layering the two!! ew!!! What was she thinking?? And really, does anyone need to see how far your thong is riding up your ass? I think not! WHY WHY WHY was this girl dressing like SUCH a slut? How in the world can this girl really think she's attractive, as opposed to the object of criticism (and laughter)?

Girls, just because the warmer weather permits you to wear a cute miniskirt and opposed to a snow suit doesn't mean you have to forget how to put on clothes that 1) fit 2) match 3) are classy, and lastly 4) don't forget to actually put clothes on! Like seriously, do you think you look hot dressing like a skankaroo? Do you LIKE the attention you get when people mistake you for a hooker (and let's face it, in Toronto this is quite possible)? It's one thing to go to a pool or a beach and prance around in minimal clothing - but walking down the street you just look like a ghetto slut? You deserve to be asked how much you cost.

Please please puh-lease (I'm begging you here) - if you insist on wearing short shorts, put on a longer shirt - one that does not look like it was made for a 5-year-old. Also, stilettos, especially those that are metallic, shiny, and full of bling ALWAYS make you look like ghetto trash. Always. No exceptions.

So, remember - just because it's summer DOES NOT mean you should strip down the the bare essentials and take off all your clothes, let alone forget to put clothes on! Less is not always more! You'll look like a ghetto slut - THIS IS NOT A GOOD THING!!!

Romp romp romp romp... fromp.

I really love summer fashion. I love how it is totally possible to put on a pair of cute shorts, a top, and look totally acceptable even with just a pair of flip-flops. Summer is a time when people can express their unique fashion sense without being loaded down by 10 hundred sweaters, and there are so, so, so many cute outfits to make and chose from!

Unfortunately, with brightly-coloured sundresses and daisy dukes comes one fashion trend I CANNOT STAND and I really think NOBODY should even ATTEMPT to wear: ROMPERS. Why the hell would somebody want to wear something that was originally intended for 5-year olds? Are you so intellectually incompetent that you have to wear your shorts and tops sewn together? Perhaps this is for those people who have a tendency to take off their clothes while having a few too many summery drinks, and need more reinforcement. Regardless, DO NOT WEAR A ROMPER!!!!!

When I think of a romper on a grown person aka an adult, the images that immediately comes to mind are 1) a blond white-trash crack whore with a cigarette and a drink in her hand, and too skinny to fit into anything else, and 2) an over-weight skankapotomous who wants to hide a few rolls. Are you any of those two things? Geezus, I seriously hope not!

I think my main issue with rompers is that, well, I have yet to see anyone who can really pull it off. Sure, terrycloth ones can be useful après-swim (but, like, keep in mind you're literally wearing a towel in this case) but just further emphasizes the fact that they should NOT be worn on the street. Oh hey, you look like you just came from the beach... but you live in downtown Toronto! No beaches there, my friends. If you're not anno-thin, rompers have a tendency to make you look like you have a post-baby belly due to the fact that many of them attempt to have a higher waist-line. Not only that, but your ass looks like it's falling out, and um, hello camel-toe! Ew. Like, who does this girl in the blue think she is?   STOP IT NOW!!!!!

Unless you're a 5-year old child, please don't wear one of these hideous outfits. You look reeeeealllly bad, no matter how skinny, how tanned, how accessorized you may be, or how awesome your shoes are. Do you really want to look like white trash, or a toddler? *shudders* I seriously hope not.

Just in case you forgot.

Taken from postsecret.blogspot.com, I do not own this picture in any way, shape, or form.

Nice Nice Baby? Hardly.

Harem pants. Harem Pants. I just don’t know where to begin with them, or what exactly to say. I am at a complete loss of words when it comes to these bizarre-looking pants, and even more so as to why these… things… became popular again. There is absolutely NOTHING flattering about these pants, and unless you need to fit a diaper under them or want to smuggle something in your pants, there is absolutely NO REASON why you should even be considering these TERRIBLE pants. Why would anyone want a pair of pants that is baggy and saggy in every area except for the ankles? If you want Baggy&Saggy, you might as well put on a pair of Mom jeans, they do the same thing. Harem pants will make you look not only like a stupid clown (and really, these pants SHOULD belong in the circus not only because you’ll look like a clown in them, but also because they’re just so laughable as fashion trends) or a horse. You know those Disney horses with the huge ass and tiny ankles? Just LOOK at the resemblance! Besides the shape of the pants themselves, think of how unwearable they are – like, what shoes would you wear with them? Ballet flats? Boots? I have no idea. I guess the only good thing about these pants is that you can reuse them for your Halloween costume as Aladdin or MC Hammer when you realize these pants are a HUGE FAIL.

I guess MC Hammer did have something right when he wrote that song “U Can’t Touch This”… I’m not sure if he was speaking directly about the pants made famous in this song, but yeah, he’s right – YOU SHOULD NOT BE TOUCHING THOSE PANTS! Luckily, I have yet to see anyone wearing these pants on the street, and up until today I hadn’t seen them in any stores (found them at H&M and Dynamite… *shudders*) I’m kind of hoping I do see some random wannabe fashionista wearing them so I can have a good laugh. HAHAHAHAHAHA … fugly excuses of pants.

Pyjamas? REALLY?

So while out shopping today, I saw someone in their pyjamas. PYJAMAS! And you know what the saddest part is? I think this “trend” is becoming more and more frequent these days. I am not sure if it’s because people are lazy but LORD JESUS how lazy do you need to be that you cannot toss on a pair of jeans or sweat pants and a t-shirt for god sakes. At least DRESS yourself! I am getting really tired of people wearing their pyjamas out as normal clothing – why would anyone want to see you out in your yellow ducky pyjamas anyway? The only people who should be wearing their pyjamas out in public are newborn infants!!!! Even then I try to dress my children for public (added by Krista: or university students during exam times, and only if you’re going to a 9am exam) Why is it that as a society we cannot get ourselves dressed? Are we honestly THAT lazy?? I just don’t get it; you wouldn’t normally see anyone in a popular or trendy neighbourhood in their jamies?? So why is it people in the Durham Region think this is an acceptable form of attire? (Added by Krista: Scarborough people also seem to think pyjamas are acceptable to wear outside. You look stupid. STOP IT!!!)

PLEASE NOTE: Take a look at the above picture. Doesn't she look stupid? Tesco thought so too, when this woman (Elaine, 24, mother of 2) was BANNED from shopping at Tesco in the UK this year. GOOD FOR YOU, TESCO!!! I really think Toronto ought to do this!!

Love, Hollista

A Rant about Maternity Clothing

I would like to comment on the crappy clothing choices that pregnant women have to choose from. Being seven months pregnant myself, I very much dislike the choices that are at Thyme and Motherhood Maternity, let alone the price tag that goes along with them. I am a younger mom-to-be and I really don’t feel like I should have to wear baggy saggy jeans that are not long enough (I am 5’8) and just don’t fit properly. What’s worse are those tops with lace and paisley!! Whoever thought expectant mothers should only wear those two prints must have been on crack. I think paying almost $30 for a simple t-shirt is totally rediuclous, and why are they all old-looking and non fashionable? Aren’t pregnant women generally between the ages of 20-40? Yeah. I’m not saying that we should all dress like hoochies, but I don’t think I need to look like I’m 90 years old. I seem to find some things I like at Old Navy or whatever, but most times I have to buy a large or extra large in any normal stores. Also, why are things so expensive for maternity? I just don’t get it. I know you need a bit more material to manufacture things to fit a belly, but really, since when do I need to pay $60-70 for jeans?? Especially jeans I’m only going to wear for a few months – after all, it’s not like I can wear them sans belly, right? And what about jackets? HELLO! Pregnant people get cold too!! Why am I always wearing my husband’s sweaters to keep warm? And why are all the shirts too short in length?? Some bellies grow wide and as we get bigger, we need length too!!! I really feel like the maternity stores should be consulting a younger panel of mothers to be rather than Betty White!